The Old Fling

Ah, finally it's you again. Among the guys who keeps coming back, I never count you in. Because I hated you the most. I avoided you at all cost.

Now, all of them had gone. I'm relieved, because it's for the best. But, I can't help but feeling lonely sometimes. And here you are, coming back when I need someone just to talk to at nights. Anyone, I don't even care who. But, there's only you right now.

I guess you're lonely, too. That's why you checked on me every other month, regardless of my coldness. And you're kind of curious, because you knew we had mutual attraction once.

Maybe not once, I don't even remember anymore. We've been doing this thing called flirting since 2014 or 2015. On and off. Hot and cold.

I'm no longer the girl you were attracted to, and so are you. But here we are, after gaining tons of kilograms later, picking up where we left off, because both of us is still keeping the nostalgia.

We are flirting with the memories we had, not with each other. I'm just using you to feel desirable again. You're using me to fill your lonely nights. Unfortunately, it has to be you, it has to be me. Because, there's no one left anymore.

Of course, sometimes I wish there's another scenario where we can be something much more than this. But, the path was never there and never will. This is all we can be to each other.

I don't want us to be attached more than this, so I said to you, "There's no need to update me about your activities."

I tried to limit our interaction, but I guess it's much easier to look for each other. Now, I'm used to you telling me about the trivial things you did before texting me. Now, it feels natural for me to tell you to go to sleep, take a bath, or have lunch. Well, this is too much.

My last defense is weak. I still refuse to update you with my trivial things. I hide my fragile side, avoid telling you about my problems, even the smallest ones. Hopefully, I will never cross that line.

You said I should tell you directly if get angry at you again, not ghosted you like I used to do. But, boy, I think someday I will do it again. Maybe you don't mind we be in this state for as long as possible, but I'm not as easygoing as you think.

Not a Fighter

I don't feel like a fighter right now.

More like a loser defeated 30 times over.

Just because I'm fat 😂

See, being someone insecure who gained confidence from looks all your life are dangerous, because when you lose that beauty, you lose everything. And who doesn't get old, wrinkly, put on some weight over time? None.

Whatever, let's work that ass again tomorrow. At least having healthy body will keep you sane. Let's try a little more and be patient for the weight loss.

Whom I Love The Most

Most of the time, people you love the most are the ones who test your patience the most.

People who grow up with you, people who raise you for decades are the ones who's capable of pushing the buttons 😂

For people who throws your anger easily, everywhere, everytime, oh yes it's good not to let negative emotions stay inside you for too long. Bur realize this, you hurt people around you in the process. There are people who don't show their emotions often, but it doesn't mean they don't get affected by your random anger. You put them through hell daily. You put us in hell everyday. You put me to hell.

And when we finally explode, you said, "What's wrong with you?"

No, what the hell is wrong with you? What do you think will happen when people like us fed up with your daily fights? What do you think will happen if a pipe is filled with too many dirts for so long? It's cracked.

Sometimes we just can't take it anymore. Why not learn to think first before throwing tantrums and badmouthing randomly? How about trying to understand other people's feeling sometimes?

Journal of Nightmare 2: The Maze

It's just a vivid dream today. It started pleasant. I was in a trip with three of my best friends. We were hunting for restaurants.

I still can't drive well, so I leave my car (in reality, I can't even drive that car, yet 😂). We went to places by public transportations like we used to do in college days. We joked around and laughed together. I was happy in that dream.

Then, we arrived at a restaurant in the middle of nowhere. It was like a dry savannah around us.

We had to go through some kind of labyrinth to access the main dining room. My friends walked so fast, still cheerfull. It was a dark and suffocating maze, so I was getting panic. Claustrophobic and lost for a while.

Then I managed to get out of the labyrinth and woke up.

Two days in a row. What's wrong with me and strange restaurants? 😂

Journal of Nightmare 1: A Strange Party

Woke up from one of my countless nightmares at dawn. It was an exhausting dream as always.

This time it's so clear and gets even weirder. Should I make journal about nightmares? I have it almost every night anyway. At least writing it down will be fun 😂

I was in a small party. Everyone was a stranger and they all wore similar brown batik, as if it's someone wedding. I was one of the guests, too.

The room felt suffocating. I looked up and stared at a stranger, a tall guy I never seen before staring back at me.

I asked him with my eyes, "Who are you?"

He remained silent and stared at me more intensely.

We stood so close to each other, as if don't want to let go of each other.

Then I saw my ex stood up across the room. I recognized him immediately, but his face look like a stranger somehow. He smirked devilishly and I can't move my eyes from him. But I'm holding the tall guy in front of me tighter. "This one in my arms is my boyfriend," I whispered to myself.

The room turned into chaos. Everyone was running around. A male guest stood next to us was stabbed by another man, with a small knife. It sank deep in his abdomen.

I took my boyfriend's hand and we ran from the chaotic party. Turns out, it's a very spatious restaurant on the hill. We have to go up and down many staircases before manage to go outside.

We ran as fast as we could, passing a female guest with headscarf who asked herself, "Why couldn't I run faster?"

I wonder what kind of dream analysis it can make 😂

Happy New Year

Happy new year, me.

You did great last year.

Life hit you as hard as before, but you cry less.

You keep your sanity most of the time.

You manage to achieve many things between all those mess.

New side job, few million rupiahs, new laptop, photography, excellence in job, great time together with your very best friends. Those were fantastic achievements for 2020.

You stressed a lot, depressed a lot and it affected your health sometimes. But you got through it with dignity. "I won't crawling at my bed like a weakling, feeling defeated," you said. And that's what you did.

So, let's do it again this year. You have many ideas and goals this year. Let's go kick some asses.

Thanks for The Coffee

We always have that kind of mixed feelings about each other, I'm sure about it.

We won't always get along, I don't even know if we're still get along. I decided to stay away to give both of us time to heal.

But one thing that never change, I always have something related to her to be thankful for. Back then, I was thankful for the honest answers for my questions and the plain truth. Lately, it's for her recommendation of coffee beans. I'm officially a coffee drinker now and I thank you for that, lady.

Life sucks for women like us, but I hope you will always stand tall and tell it to fuck off.

Vertical Horizon's Everything You Want

Today I mumbled Vertical Horizon's Everything You Want over and over. Over and over. But the lyrics was altered.

He's everything I want, he's everything I need, he's everything inside of me that I wish I could be.

He said all the right things and exactly the right time.

But he means nothing to me and I don't know why.

I guess I'm just troubled, too complicated to appreciate your simplicity. All I know is broken things, the lips that I kissed were painted with lies, your pure soul is alien to me. So believe me when I say you're too good for me. I just don't know how to love anything that's not colored in black :)

One Man Show with No Audience

Funny how people like me being loud when no one listening or watching.

Funny how I restrain myself so much on social medias and post on this personal blog almost every hour.

Well, I'm secretly a performer. But my show will never have audience. That's how I like it.

Mirror, Mirror on The Wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Tell me, am I unworthy to be loved for my true self?

Am I doomed to be a replacement of someone else for eternity?

Every humanbeing walks on the embrace of mother earth, carrying invisible weight inside.

That person holds the rock of sadness for years, took light steps, as if the world means nothing to him.

She sews the bleeding wound called disappointment, while staring at the sun, as if challenge the world.

You understand, and it's enough for now.

Maybe you'll never be able to tell him how selfish he was, taking you for granted and then blame you for making him doing so.

Maybe you'll never have a heart to tell her how the word 'replacement' and 'copycat' cut so deep inside you.

They're more miserable than you. You feel bad for them.

You understand and it's enough for now.

You admit that you still pray, someday he will make peace with the demon inside him.

You know you'll forgive him someday, though you don't need to let him in your life again to do so.

You know you'll always count her as a friend.

You hope that she will find true happiness someday.

It's all good and that's enough for now.

Now it's time to back off, step aside, and talk to the reflection in the mirror.

The image is getting dull and blurry.

Mixed up with someone else's face.

She cries a river, begging for your attention in silence.

She needs you the most.

So tell her right now.

Smile, because you're the most beautiful when you do that.

No, don't change yourself just to be the opposite of another person.

Yes, being you is good enough for life.

Chin up, because you deserved to be loved for who you are and you will.

4 Nasi Goreng Kaki Lima Paling Ngangenin di Kota Malang

Sebenarnya saya agak malas kalau mampir ke kafe/kedai/depot/rumah makan lalu pesan nasi goreng. Kayaknya ini pilihan makanan paling 'aman' kalau kita belum pernah menjelajahi daftar menu. Tapi lain ceritanya kalau makan nasi goreng di kaki lima.

Kalau kata saya nasi goreng dan gerobak kaki lima itu jodoh paling serasi. Rasanya ada sensasi tersendiri saat menunggu nasi goreng dimasak sambil memandang kendaraan yang lalu lalang di jalan. Apalagi pas aroma bumbu yang lagi ditumis kebawa angin. Makin keronconganlah perut ini.

Nah, di kota Malang ini banyak tukang nasi goreng kaki lima yang menurut saya makanannya jauh lebih enak daripada nasi goreng di kedai franchise-an. Berikut ini beberapa di antaranya.

Nasi Goreng Kambing - Sop Kaki Kambing Ex-Gajayana 

Nasi goreng kambing dengan potongan daging ekstra plus emping. Photo: Dok. pribadi

Warung kaki lima ini sebenarnya nggak ada namanya. Di depannya pun cuma tertulis Sop Kaki Kambing & Sate-Sop Kaki Sapi. Tapi ada yang menyebutnya Sop Kaki Kambing Pak Kin atau Sop Kaki Kambing Ex-Gajayana, soalnya dulu sempat mangkal di sekitaran Stadion Gajayana.

Meskipun menu andalannya sop kaki kambing, nasi goreng kambing di sini enak banget. Nasi gorengnya berwarna cokelat gelap dengan potongan daging kambing yang besar-besar tapi empuk. Dikasih emping goreng melimpah pula.

Minyak samin dan bumbu rempahnya nasi goreng ini kerasa banget. Porsinya juga mengenyangkan. Buat penyeimbang rasa, jangan lupa ditambah acar timun dan wortel yang disediakan terpisah.

Harganya memang nggak semurah nasi goreng pada umumnya. Tapi ini nasi goreng pakai kambing, lho. Harganya sepadan dengan kualitas, kok.

Kelihatannya kaki lima yang satu ini juga cukup legend. Buktinya turis asing pun makan di sini. Saya kebetulan ketemu sepasang pas mampir ke sini.

Alamat: Jalan Kyai Tamin No.101, Sukoharjo (warung kaki lima pertama yang terlihat kalau belok dari Jalan Laksamana Martadinata/Lonceng)
Jam buka: 18.00-23.30
Harga: Rp30.000,- (plus jeruk anget)
Go-Food/GrabFood: Go-Food only

Sego Goreng Jowo MAREM

Sego goreng Jowo di Nasi Goreng MAREM Galunggung. Photo: Dok Pribadi

Saya nggak tahu kenapa, tapi Jalan Galunggung itu kayaknya spot wisata nasi goreng di Malang. Di sepanjang jalan ini banyak banget tukang nasi goreng yang ramai pembeli. Salah satunya ya Sego Goreng MAREM ini.

Warung ini langganan mahasiswa dan keluarga. Menunya aneka jenis nasi goreng, dan mie goreng ala Jawa. Bisa request pedas atau nggak.

Menurut saya nasi goreng Jawa di sini rasanya khas karena pakai bumbu uleg yang baru diracik begitu ada pesanan. Baru ditumis saja aromanya sudah sedep. Mesti sabar nunggu, karena bumbunya diuleg satu per satu.

Semua menu di sini disajikan dengan suwiran ayam, bawang goreng, acar, dan cabai rawit hijau. Sampai suwiran ayamnya pun berasa bumbu, jadi nggak hambar.

selain nasi goreng, mie goreng jawa dan nasi goreng ikan asinnya juga recommended. Harganya murah-murah, kok. Rata-rata Rp9.500,-. Paling mahal cuma cap cay, Rp12.500,-.

Alamat: Jalan Galunggung No.11, Gading Kasri (200 meter arah utara dari lampu merah Dieng)
Jam buka: 18.00-23.00
Harga: Rp9.500,-
Go-Food/GrabFood: -

Sego Mie Warung Pak Bandung

Sego mie, racikan nasi goreng mawut mie instan di Warung Pak Bandung. Photo: Dok. pribadi

Masih di ruas Jalan Galunggung, terus aja ke arah utara sampai ketemu lampu merah persimpangan Jalan Bondowoso-Jalan Tidar. Di sebelah kiri ada nasi goreng Galunggung yang selalu antre itu. Di seberangnya ada Warung Pak Bandung.

Warung Pak Bandung yang cuma lesehan di emperan toko ini punya menu andalan sego mie. Dibuat dari mie instan yang diracik ulang menjadi nasi goreng mawut.

Penyajiannya di mangkuk putih yang biasa dipakai tukang bakso dan mie ayam itu. Selain mie dan nasi, saya juga menemukan potongan ampela, kubis, sawi, dan telur di dalam sego mie. Bisa pesan pedas atau nggak.

Sego mie ini adalah makanan nostalgia buat para alumni UM, terutama yang dulunya ngekos atau punya isi dompet cekak. Sampai sekarang pun saya masih sering kebarengan segerombol mahasiswa kalau makan di sini.

Makanan di sini memang cocok buat anak kuliahan. Bayar seporsi tapi kenyangnya setara makan dua piring.

Alamat: Jl. Galunggung No.76, Gading Kasri (emperan belakang Pizza Hut Delivery)
Jam buka: 18.00-22.00
Harga: Rp12.000,- (plus es jeruk)
Go-Food/GrabFood: -

Sego Resek Kasin

Sego resek plus sayap ayam. Photo: Dok. pribadi

Warung kaki lima ini cuma menawarkan satu menu, yaitu sego resek yang berarti nasi sampah. Warungnya pun diterangi lampu sederhana. Meja kursi juga terbatas. Tapi pengunjungnya serasa tumpah-tumpah.

Sego resek yang selalu laris manis ini bisa dibilang termasuk kuliner kaki lima legendaris di Malang. Berupa nasi goreng mawut ala Jawa yang dibumbui bawang-bawangan, kecap dan penyedap. Dimasak bersama potongan mie kuning, kubis, tauge, dan suwiran daging ayam. Terus disajikan bersama bersama irisan telur rebus yang digoreng, suwiran ayam, potongan usus, timun, dan bawang goreng. Bisa pakai tambahan lauk seperti sayap ayam, kepala ayam, dan ampela. Ampelanya digulung usus goreng. Menggoda sekali.

Keunikan dari sego resek ini terletak pada cara memasaknya. Satu penggorengan berukuran raksasa dipakai buat masak belasan porsi sekaligus. Kompornya masih pakai arang dan kayu, jadi aromanya benar-benar khas. Pelanggan bisa makan di sekeliling wajan, sekalian nonton atraksi si bapak mengaduk-aduk nasi goreng.

Paling enak mampir ke sini pas warungnya baru buka, karena masih gorengan pertama. Bumbunya pun masih nampol banget. Jangan ngeluh kalau makannya senggol-senggolan, ya. Justru di situlah seninya.

Porsinya pas, sepadan dengan harganya yang juga murah banget. Paling mahal cuma Rp13.000 dan itu sudah pakai suwiran ayam yang banyak.

Alamat: Jalan Brigjend. Katamso No.4, Kauman (50 meter sebelah barat perempatan Kasin)
Jam buka:  18.00-22.00
Harga: Rp9.000,- (tanpa lauk)
Go-Food/GrabFood: -

Sebenarnya masih banyak nasi goreng kaki lima di Malang yang enak dan bikin kangen. Tapi untuk kali ini kita cukupkan saja dengan membahas nasi goreng yang sudah saya ulas di atas. Kapan-kapan kita mampir ke warung kaki lima lain lagi dan icip-icip.

Sepotong surga hijau di Coban Rondo, salah satu tempat paling Instagram-able di Malang

Ketemu lagi sama saya. Beberapa hari ini saya memang rajin blogging. Meskipun postingan saya sudah kadaluwarsa semua, alias sudah mengendap sebagai draft berbulan-bulan.

Karena blog ini pada dasarnya adalah jurnal travelling, icip-icip, dan daily life minus personal detail (I know that reading someone complaining about their life in internet is exhausting), jadi ya maaf kalau ulasan travel saya kurang informatif.

Pertengahan tahun 2015 lalu saya dan Frita, Arien, serta Sova memutuskan untuk jalan-jalan ke Coban Rondo. Bukan berarti kami belum pernah main ke sana. Kami berempat cuma kepingin menyegarkan pikiran dari rutinitas kantor yang bikin stres tanpa ke mall. Jadilah Coban Rondo pilihan destinasi wisata kami.

Saya yang paling semangat karena pegunungan dengan pemandangan hijau memang jenis wisata alam yang paling saya sukai. Dan meskipun air terjun Coban Rondo ini memang tidak terlalu istimewa dan kelewat ramai pengunjung, tapi saya menikmati keindahannya yang sederhana.

Air Terjun, Coban, atau Curug?

 

Ngeksis sebentar di Lawang Sewu yang legendaris

Saya tuh, sebenarnya lumayan penakut. Saya bakal deg-degan kalau disuruh masuk tempat yang katanya berhantu. Tapi karena main ke Semarang tanpa mampir ke Lawang Sewu itu seperti makan bakso Malang nggak pakai kuah (apa, sih), jadilah saya dan ketiga sobat, Arien, Frita, dan Sova menyempatkan diri ke Lawang Sewu.

Biasanya di depan Lawang Sewu ada beberapa tour guide berbaju garis-garis cokelat khas Jawa yang menawarkan jasa. Tapi kami lebih memilih menjelajahi Lawang Sewu sendiri. Lagipula saat itu Lawang Sewu sedang dipakai untuk festival budaya. Jadi banyak sekali pengunjung yang memadati halaman dan setiap lantai. Sebagian ruangannya pun digunakan untuk pameran UKM dan produk fashion.

Apakah Lawang Sewu seseram yang saya bayangkan?

Warna-warni terang bulan di Martabak Badut

Photo credit: Tantri Setyorini

Rasa-rasanya belakangan ini saya lebih sering wisata kuliner daripada travelling. Dalam sebulan saja saya sudah mampir ke beberapa tempat makan yang lagi hits di Malang. Salah satunya ya, Martabak Badut ini. Lokasinya di Jalan Pattimura no. 34, Malang. Kalau dari arah Stasiun tinggal belok kiri di perempatan Klojen.

Apa istimewanya martabak alias terangbulan ini?

Mampir sebentar di Gereja Blenduk yang seperti masjid

Happy new year...

Saya mau cerita-cerita lagi, nih. Kali ini mau meneruskan cerita soal main ke Semarang yang sebenarnya sudah basi itu. Travelling-nya aja tahun 2014 lalu. Tapi daripada draft dan oleh-oleh foto ini cuma mengendap di laptop, mending di-share biar bisa dilihat orang lain. Siapa tahu bisa menginspirasi orang lain buat jalan-jalan juga.

Setelah mampir ke Pagoda Watugong, wisata tempat ibadah saya, Arien, Sova, dan Frita hari itu dilanjutkan dengan mampir ke Gereja Blenduk.

Photo credit: Tantri Setyorini

Good food, good vibe of Fresh Point

Halo, saya lagi, nih. Kali ini iseng mau ngisi blog dengan pengalaman jajan di kota tercinta Malang.

Sebenarnya saya tergolong jarang wisata kuliner atau wisata apa pun. Karena itulah (Duh, kebawa-bawa bahasa kerjaan banget) sekalinya jalan-jalan atau wiskul saya selalu mencoba menyerap sebanyak mungkin kesan dari tempat yang saya kunjungi atau makanan yang saya cicipi. 

Dan tempat ini menjadi salah satu tempat makan di Malang yang paling berkesan buat saya. Namanya Fresh Point.

FRESH POINT Sandwich & Waffle. Alamat: Jl. Mirah Delima No.02, Malang

Trip to Madakaripura: Menelusuri jejak Gajah Mada di air terjun kebanggaan Jawa

Halo, apa kabar? Ketemu lagi sama saya. Kali ini mau cerita pengalaman jalan-jalan sekalian liputan bareng tim content kantor ke air terjun Madakaripura. Pasti sudah pernah dengar kan, tentang tempat ini?

Iya, benar Madakaripura adalah air terjun tertinggi (200 meter) di Jawa Timur. Letaknya di Kecamatan Lumbang, Probolinggo. Di sini saya cuma pingin bagi-bagi cerita tentang keindahan Madakaripura, legenda, serta mitos yang ada di baliknya. Buat yang pingin baca rute dan tips travelling ke Madakaripura, silakan mampir ke sini.

'Hujan abadi' di Air Terjun Madakaripura. Photo credit: Yudi Suryanto

Mencicipi tahu gimbal, salah satu kuliner tradisional khas Semarang di Taman KB

Nah, dalam rangka main ke Semarang tahun lalu, saya dan teman-teman menyempatkan diri mampir ke salah satu penjual tahu gimbal. Iya, tahu gimbal. Makanan khas Semarang yang bisa ditemui di hampir setiap sudut kota Semarang.

Kali itu, kami memutuskan mencicipi tahu gimbal di depan Taman KB. Di sekitar taman yang jadi tempat kumpulnya anak muda Semarang ini berderet penjual tahu gimbal. Makanan yang dijual hampir semuanya seragam. Tahu gimbal, es campur, es teler, dan es durian.

Saya coba pesan tahu gimbal dan es durian. Nggak inget harganya berapa, karena ditraktir Miss Sova, sang tuan rumah sekaligus guide kita selama di Semarang (Makasih lop, Va :)).

Kalau kalian lihat gambar tahu gimbal di internet atau tabloid resep masakan yang sudah tersentuh food art, kurang-lebih bentuknya seperti ini.

Tahu gimbal.    Photo taken from Wisatasemarang.com

Short trip to Watu Ulo: Fenomena karang bersisik di pantai selatan Jember

September 2014 lalu saya dan beberapa teman sekantor mampir ke pantai Watu Ulo. Kunjungan ke pantai yang menjadi salah satu andalan pariwisata Jember, Jawa Timur ini lumayan berkesan soalnya ini kali pertama saya ikut berangkat buat liputan travel. Biasa mampir ke tempat-tempat wisata sebagai turis lokal biasa yang sekadar menikmati keindahan alam sekitar, kali ini saya mendapatkan banyak sisi cerita dari sebuah tempat wisata. Meskipun statusku cuma sekadar pengikut (artinya temen-temen yang lebih banyak wawancara dan ngambil foto :D).

Pantai Watu Ulo ini masuk ke wilayah Desa Sumberejo, Kecamatan Ambulu, Jember. Letaknya bersebelahan dengan Pantai Tanjung Papuma. Pantainya cukup indah, dengan ombak ganas namun mempesona khas pantai selatan. Tapi daya tarik utamanya jelas batu karang bersisik yang menjadi asal-usul nama pantai Watu Ulo.

Di kejauhan tampak desa nelayan dan gugusan batu karang raksasa yang sekilas mirip pulau. Sayang, keindahan pasir putihnya sedikit ternoda sampah.

Meskipun saat itu hari libur, tapi Watu Ulo relatif sepi pengunjung. Cuma ada beberapa wistawan lokal, penjaga pantai, dan beberapa pemancing ikan.

Photo by Yoga Tri Priyanto